The Cow Incident
When I was about 7, my grandparents, Vincent and Dorothy Tillman farmed and milked cows on "the big farm" and my sister, who was a year and half younger, and I, would get to spend a couple weeks having a great time with them in the summer. Well, one day, my Grandpa and sister took the truck around to the gate midway through the pasture and my job was to walk down the fence line and open the gate for them. To this day, I am not sure why couldn't have rode in the truck and then got out and opened the gate - farm logic, I guess... So, I started slowly along the fence, with the herd off in the distance minding its own business, well, for the most part. Technically all but one curious cow who seemed very interested in what I was doing. I looked over my shoulder and started doing my best 7 year old speed walking impression. I looked over my shoulder again and now the cow was doing its best "curious cow" speed walking impression, only it wasn't an impression - it was gaining on me! So, I started running and, of course, the gate seemed to be further away by now, somewhere in the next county, I think, and I looked over my shoulder again and there was "cow-zilla" blocking out the sun like some slobbery nose black and white eclipse. O, God, I thought... this cow could probably eat me in one bite! I looked forward again, and there was the "gate", a wire with an insulated handle twenty feet away. That's not even going to slow the cow down! I thought as I set the land speed record for a seven year old in a cow pasture. I reached the gate, did my best "action hero" tuck and roll under the fence (Indiana Jones would have been proud) stood up, brushed some "pasture" off my pants and stood there crying and waiting for Grandpa. So, he pulls up, gets out, looks at me, looks at the cow standing there looking innocently "cow-like" and says "Stop crying, its just a cow, she would have stopped if you would have stopped". All I could think was... Grandpa, I don't believe the cow got that memo.